


nothing at all

by ChildOfLight



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5573284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfLight/pseuds/ChildOfLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kei waited, wished, longed for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nothing at all

**Author's Note:**

> This is like 100% self-indulged and based on my life and loosely on [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCqIurAY2j8/). The italics in the last scene are lyrics from this song.
> 
> There's some texting and I've put the time down without the AM/PM system so if someone is confused, 20:00 is 8 PM, 17:00 is 5 PM and 11:00 is 11 AM.

Tsukishima Kei was in deep, deep shit.

It all started during the training camp Karasuno had had with Nekoma, Fukurodani and all the other schools whose names Kei didn't bother to remember. There was this certain bedhead bearing guy who had taken a weird liking to Kei. Liking that Kei dubbed to be because of his height, which was great for practice, he supposed, or maybe his personality happened to be just that type Kuroo liked to rile up for fun. Whatever the reason was, it made Kei's heart thump louder than necessary, and what certainly didn't help was the number in Kei's phone after the training camp, no matter how uncomfortable the whole thing made him feel.

He couldn't help the bubbly feeling every time his phone beeped from a message from Kuroo, or the disappointment when it was someone else. Kei wasn't the type to have serious crushes on people, and he definitely wasn't the type to get a giddy feeling in his chest when thinking of someone.

It all kinda scared him.

 

 

 

From: Kuroo

(20:32) _i cant wait to play against you so you all better beat shiratorizawa!_

 

To: Kuroo

(20:34) _Easier said than done, have you _seen_ Ushijima?_

From: Kuroo

(20:34) _you can do it, tsukki_

(20:35) _JUST_

(20:35) _DO_

(20:35) _IT_

Tsukishima snorted just as another message notified of its arrival.

 

From: Kuroo

(20:37) _besides i wanna see you_

Kei tried to hate the way that tiny message made him feel.

 

 

 

"Ooh, is it Kuroo-san you're texting?" Yamaguchi asked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

Kei's "Shut up, Yamaguchi" wasn't very effective behind his hands where he had buried his head in embarrassment, companied by Yamaguchi's laughter.

"Sorry, sorry. No, but really, what's going on? Do you like him?"

Kei shot him a defeated look. "What does it look like?"

"OH MY GOD"

"Yamaguchi it's not that unusual.

"YES IT IS SHUT UP, _OH MY GOD_ "

"You shut up! Stop making that face, I-"

"Tsukki has a crush, Tsukki has a crush, oh my~"

"Yamaguchiiiiiii"

 

 

 

_'I want to kiss that stupid face'_ Kei thought to himself. ' _I want to make you sappy mix tapes of the cheesiest love songs, I want to stay up all night talking about our deepest secrets with you, I want to wake up next to you, I want it all I want it all I want it all'_

Kei's phone alerted of a new message.

 

From: Kuroo

(17:24) _congrats for beating seijou!!_

(17:24) _and good luck for your next match! see you in the nationals_ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Kei stared at the phone, eyes wide. What?? Did?? He?? Mean?? With?? That?? Goddamn??

Kei buried his head in his pillow to pretend his cheeks didn't feel hot, his heart wasn't thumping loudly in his chest, that message didn't make him feel anything.

 

 

 

They did it.

They beat Shiratorizawa.

Kei felt happy, happier than ever, even when Hinata crushed him into a hug way too familiar for them, when Yamaguchi pushed Kageyama join them with him, even when Tanaka and Nishinoya jumped on top of all of them. He wasn't really sure who hugged who, whose hair he ruffled, who was sobbing beside him, but did it really matter? They were all his teammates, and they had just beaten _Shiratorizawa_ and he was so, so happy.

It didn't even occur to Kei until late, late into the night, when he was under his covers trying to fall asleep, that it meant he'd see Kuroo again.

 

 

 

To: Kuroo

(11:01) _We did it._

 

From: Kuroo

(11:03) _did what?_

To: Kuroo

(11:03) _We beat Shiratorizawa._

(11:04) _We're going to nationals._

From: Kuroo

(11:04) _!!!_

(11:04) _Tsukki!!_

(11:05) _That's great!!_

(11:07) _and we'll see each other_ (●♡∀♡)

 

 

 

It's the nationals, and Karasuno loses their second game. As they are packing up their things, head hung low, Kei sees a splotch of red from the corner of his eye. He turns around to see the backs of the Nekoma team and the oh so familiar bed hair. He contemplates if he should go after them, but as he watches the backs getting farer and farer away, he realizes he doesn't really want to. He turns around and slides down the wall to sit beside a sobbing Hinata.

 

 

 

They stop texting for a while after that. When they do continue, they don't talk about volleyball.

Kei doesn't feel giddy anymore.

I does hurt though, when he sees Kuroo's recent tweets about wanting a girlfriend. He can't lie, it does hurt.

_'Am I not what you want, Kuroo-san?'_ Kei thought on many occasion, but he really doesn't want to know.

Not really because he was afraid it would hurt, but because he wasn't sure if he could care anymore.

 

 

 

"Hey, Tsukishima?"

"Kuroo-san."

"I'm sorry, I've been kind of distant lately."

"Oh yeah?" Kei knew he should've tried to sound even vaguely interested, but he didn't really care.

_You never brought me flowers_

"The thing is, Tsukishima... I really like you." Kei could feel how his heart should've jumped in joy, but it didn't.

_Never held me in my darkest hours_

"I've liked you all this time, but I was hesitant and I'm sorry for that."

_And towers_

"I didn't know how a long-dictance relationship would work for me, if you'd ever feel the same for me..."

_Once we were made like towers_

"The more I texted with you, the more I knew I couldn't just ignore these feelings,"

_Everything could've been ours_

"But I was a coward and tried to ignore them, find someone who I could see more than once or twice a year."

_But you left it too late_

"But I realized it's you I like,"

_and my heart feels nothing_

"And I'm telling you all of this, because I want to ask you, if you'd be my boyfriend?"

Kei hesitates, thinks of these past months, _the past year_ , all he wants to say to Kuroo, and opens his mouth.

_nothing at all_

"I'm sorry."


End file.
